


The Flower of (Un)requited Love

by ecliptic_writes



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Love/Hate, M/M, Possibly Unrequited Love, hanahaki, i sat up and started typing this at 4am, i should probably mention that this is probably going to end sad, then realized i can't write other peoples characters and went back to sleep, they/them pronouns for Envy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-24 08:19:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13807257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ecliptic_writes/pseuds/ecliptic_writes
Summary: Months after the promised day, and months after Envy had managed to wiggle away and survive Mustang's wrath, they've discovered that they now cough up flower petals. Unsure of what this means for them, they consult Ed, who they had been trying to get closer to since the conclusion of the Promised Day, who told them that it must mean their in love.But Envy? Capable of loving? Surely it wasn't possible. After all, they hated humans, and it was hard for them to feel any other emotion than envy and its variations.And if they were, would he ever love them back after all they had done?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> An au where a) Envy doesnt die and survives the promised day and b) envy now has hanahaki (also poses the question that if the feelings aren't returned, will envy die, or just sort of suffer with the flowers for a really fucking long time)   
> Please forgive me for any mistakes i make with hanahaki-related things, as this is my first time writing it, and i'm mostly writing it at 4 in the morning.   
> Most of it is told from Envy's point of view, as I know them.. a bit better than I do Ed.   
> Thank u to the first person who commented for giving me the title ^-^

It had started a few months after the promised day. Before that, Envy had managed to crawl away from Mustang and the group, hearing Ed tell him to let them be since they were defenseless now. They managed to find an area where they could hide from them so Mustang wouldn’t try anything again. And they sat there for a while, thinking over lot and lots of things, but mostly stuff about that young blonde alchemist. For the longest time, they kind of hated the kid, and it’s an awfully good thing he was such a precious sacrifice for Envy might have tried to kill him multiple times. But things were almost different now to them, seeing as he had seen right through them and pointed out the one thing they tried so much to hide. 

They weren’t sure if they should be angry, or sad, or what emotion they should feel really. 

And after a few months of waiting and presumably a little murder, they managed to get their form back and no longer had to be a little green worm. 

And thats when the flowers showed up. 

Coughing up a few petals and maybe a little blood didn’t really concern the homunculus, rather it confused them since they had never heard of such a thing happening to people (much less a homunculus like themself), but they brushed it aside to worry about later. Maybe they’d ask Ed about it, he always seemed to know about weird little things like that. But then again, maybe there wasn’t an explanation for it at all, and Envy would just have to accept the fact that they now coughed up flower petals. As if that was anything compared to having to drown out thousands of screams inside their head, but that had become easy for them anyway after being alive for so long.  
And so they asked Ed about it. They had been trying to hang out with him even before they got their body back, though Ed was always rather hesitant to do so, but every now and then they succeeded in being around him for an hour or two. Of course, it was sort of hard to hang out much now, with him heading back to Resembool and all, but Envy found ways to get places. And the look of both surprise and shock on Winry’s face when she opened the door to see them standing there was almost priceless. 

“Where’s the pipsqueak.” They said, almost serious sounding for once.  
“Oh, um, he’s inside. Should I get him for you?” Winry replied, but there was no need for her to go get Ed, as he heard someone call him a pipsqueak again, and since he was much taller now and should not be called a pipsqueak anymore, came to make sure that whoever called him that knew. 

“Who are you calling a pip- Oh hi Envy what are you doing here.” He said, wondering why Envy was all the way in Resembool. 

“I need to ask you a question.” They said, and at great timing, coughed a little bit, allowing a few petals to come out into the palm of their hand. They brushed them off on their skort and tried to ignore it.  
“Would that question have anything to do with the fact you just coughed up flower petals” Ed said, looking down at Envy’s hand and the petals that now clung to their skort. 

“Yeah. Why the fuck am I coughing up petals! Is this just a new thing I have to go through! Is this normal!?” 

“Normally I’d tell you it isn’t but I’ve heard of a few cases where people began to cough up flower petals, but a few of those ended in the person dying…” “But I’d assume your gonna be fine since you can regenerate and all. If I remember right its called Hanahaki, it’s caused by unrequited love.”

It suddenly hit Envy that the emotion they had been feeling towards Ed for a little while now could very well be love, but honestly they weren’t entirely sure how to deal with that. Them? Love a human? Unlikely. Couldn’t happen.  
Or maybe it could? 

Maybe it was like Greed always said. There’s no such thing as no such thing. 

“Alright. Cool. Thanks. See ya later, pipsqueak.” They said, waving goodbye as they walked away.They were left wondering if they could really die from this … hanahaki was it called? Ed was right, it might not effect them too bad since they can regenerate. But they can only regenerate for so long, if their stone runs out of energy then their fucked. And while that wouldn’t be for a long while, Envy really didn’t want to be coughing up flower petals and blood for hundreds of years.  
They’d outlive the object of their affections too. Would it stop once Ed had died? They thought of trying to kill him to find out. But then they’d never get to see him again, so they pushed the thought away.  
They still had more time to think on it though, as Central was a long walk away and they had nothing else to do but think. 


	2. Chapter 2

Not too far off from the Rockbell's house, just out of earshot, Envy had finally taken in what Ed had said and what it meant it for them. And at this realization, they stopped their foot on the ground and yelled “FUCK!”, creating a dent in the ground, scaring off the nearby wildlife and alerting the nearby townspeople of their presence and frustration. They stood there for a second, continuing to process what happened, but as they started to walk off someone walked up to them.  
“May I ask why you just yelled and scarred all of my animals?” They asked, not necessarily mad at them but rather just curious as to why they yelled so loud.  
“It's none of your business!” they shouted back, before quietly saying, “I just need to get back to Central.”  
“Oh, alright..well best be on your travels.” the person said, before walking off and leaving them alone. 

It was a bit more trouble getting back to Central than it was getting to Resembool, but things do get a bit easier when you can disguise yourself as a local cab driver and then steal the cab drivers car.  
Assuming there are cab drivers out there.  
Either way, disguises were had and cars were stolen.  
That didn't stop the car ride from being long though, and with no company it gave Envy even more time to think about the situation at hand, even if only for small bits of time since they had to keep an eye on the road.  
They really had been doing a lot of introspection these days hadn't they.  
Another thing that they had eventually come to realize was that they only had Pride to talk to. Greed had been killed by Father twice (not like they'd want to talk to him about troubles like these anyways – he'd probably just make fun of them for falling in love with a human and not having them love him back.), Lust was killed by Mustang, Gluttony was eaten by Pride, Sloth used up too much of his energy and exhausted his stone, and Father failed and died too. And since the older of the Elric brothers didn't have it in him to kill their older brother, they were stuck with him. However, he was also a small child who could barely talk at the moment, so they guessed that they really had no one after all. Unless they talked to Pride's mother, who might actually understand something about what they were going through, since she had also loved a homunculus. 

So without thinking much through ahead of time, they drove right up to the Bradleys. Not disguised, just them and their palm tree self driving a stolen car up to the home of the President of Amestris.  
Of course, with a flash of red light, they changed into their solider form to avoid being talked to by anyone outside of the home, if there were any at the early hour they had arrived. But despite it being around 6 in the morning, and the sun had only been up for around an hour, Mrs. Bradley greeted them at a table in the garden as they passed by.  
Surely, she knew who they were by now.  
She didn't actually say much besides a “Hello” to the passing soldier, and a wave to come and have what they assumed to be tea. Their brother, Pride – who they should be calling Selim but even after the months had gone by they still couldn't shake the nearly 175 years they had of calling him Pride – was sleeping in the chair next to Mrs. Bradley, having awoken briefly to come out to the garden with his mom but quickly fell back asleep due to the early hour. There was a third, empty chair, so they walked over and accepted her invitation.  
“What brings you here at this hour, Envy? Don't think I didn't know it was you, who else would show up in the disguise of an unnamed officer at 6 in the morning?” she said, pouring them a cup of tea, “Is there something on your mind?”  
“There is, and I had initially meant to talk to Pride about it – sorry I meant Selim- but I had forgotten that he probably wouldn't be able to understand much of what it was,” they said as they poured a small bit of sugar into their tea before downing the entire thing even though it was fresh off the stove, “I seem to have a problem that I've never had before.”  
“And what would that be?”, she said, curious of what problem the much much older being in front her could possibly have not faced already.  
“I seem to have...I seem to have fallen in love. And with a human no less..”, they said, almost ashamed that they were admitting it, “It's brought about these stupid flower petals that I keep coughing up and I have no idea what any of it means! It's enough that I've fallen in love with that stupid blonde pipsqueak, and enough that he's probably never going to love me back, and I'm probably going to have to deal with these stupid flowers for a lot longer than everyone else who catches this cause I! Can't! Die!” they said, accidentally banging their hand on the table and almost breaking it.  
Mrs. Bradley took a sip of her tea,  
“You've never experienced love before, and now you're in love with Edward?” She said, as calmly as one could be after their table almost broke, “What's the problem with that?”  
“The problem is that he's never going to love me back! I'm going to be stuck with this stupid fucking disease for the rest of my time here, or least until he himself dies! And there's nothing I can do about it! It's just the way that things are going to happen!”  
“Why wouldn't he love you back?”  
“Because I'm me! I've committed countless crimes, most of which resulted in a great deal of humans dying, I've tried to kill him and the majority of the people he cares about! There's no reason to love me, considering that I don't even love myself!” They yelled, waking up the previously sleeping Selim, and angrily walked out of the garden, punching (and denting) the nearest wall to them on their way out. They couldn't even be bothered to keep up the disguise anymore. It's not like any one was around. They just wanted to go back home, where they used to live underground, as quick as possible.  
And on their way back to their home, if anyone had seen Envy walking that morning, they would have sworn they could have seen them shed a couple of tears.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i finally got around to picking what flower envy's coughing up here... all because i drew art for this!!! u can see it here: https://www.deviantart.com/scalaeu413/art/oof-ouch-my-lungs-768958675
> 
> thanks so much for reading this, i didnt think i'd get very far but here i am, updating again ^^ not entirely sure how good this chapter is, but i hope its alright

The underground was cold, and Envy could hear water dripping and pipes creaking even from their bedroom. It was surprisingly large down here, but it was all so empty now, with Father and their siblings gone. Fathers seat and everything else was left untouched though, since no one had thought of finding the homunculi’s hide out (even with the Elrics, Scar, and Mei having been down there before). Envy had guessed that all of the other alchemists had given up on finding them, or something, because no one had actually looked for them since the Promised Day. 

But again, it was cold and lonely down here. 

And dark. 

And there was no noise except for the dripping of water and the creaking of pipes. 

Envy wasn’t sure how long they had been sitting in the dark, coughing up small red (and sometimes slightly bloody) petals and almost feeling the flowers grow in their lungs. Which they weren’t really aware that they had, like, sure, they had the same makeup as a human but their body was surely different, and with their true form it wouldn’t make sense. But they guessed they needed some way to breathe even without a heart. 

Eventually though, they heard footsteps. Very specific footsteps though, they knew these foot steps, and it didn’t surprise them a bit that he would have checked here for them. They stepped out of their room and walked to the front (their room was somewhere in the back, where ever that would be) and down the hall, to where they expected the boy would have been. And they bumped into the now taller boy, knocking him down on his butt but managing to stay standing themself.   
He got up, they walked back, and sat down on the floor in front of Father's old chair. The place seemed to send shivers down the other boys spine, but to Envy, it felt like home.   
"So what brings you here? I know you don't like this place." Envy said to him.  
"I came with information that you might find useful. It was hard to find, but that's okay, I needed a break from all the alchemy research me and Al have been doing."   
Envy nodded at Ed's words and replied,   
"Is it on the disease? Is there a way to stop this? Did you figure out why I have it?"   
They got closer to Ed's face as they spoke, and Ed had to push them away before responding. He pulled some papers and books out of the bag he had brought with him. Opening one of the books and turning it around for Envy to read, he said,   
"As you know, you have what is called hanahaki. It's a disease that's caused by unrequited love, which is when the object of a persons affection does not love the person back. In some cases, it's just in just in the persons head, and the person does love them back, they just don't know it yet. It causes flowers to grow in the lungs of the diseased person, coming in stages. It starts as petals, but as the flowers grow more and some times aquire thorns, they start to cough up blood. Eventually, it kills the diseased."   
As he finished his sentence, Envy coughed up another bloodied red flower petal, and before they could brush it aside, Ed grabbed it from their hand.   
"It seems as though your already at stage two, but your still mostly coughing up petals. The types of flowers can vary, and all have meanings. Yours seem to be red poppies - they've started to be used for remembrance, but they can also mean consolation, peace in death, and resurrection and eternal life. Generally, it means it's a rather sad love."  
"So that's what these are," Envy said, looking at the petal in Ed's hand, "Is there anything about getting rid of it?"   
"There's two ways, but there are risks. The first is finding out if the person loves you back. If they do, it'll go away, and the person probably has hanahaki as well. The other way is to get it surgically removed, but the down side is that you would forget the person. Most don't do this, and wind up dying. I'm not entirely sure how you contracted this though, cases aren't heard of much around here and your not even human."   
"It confuses me too! I'm not even sure if that surgery would work, as I heal from anything. Who knows, maybe it won't progress much. Maybe I'll just heal it away" they said, with a wave of their hand.   
"Who knows," Ed replied, "But who's this person any ways? Do I know them?"   
Envy stared at Ed for a moment, their face growing hotter,  
"No, I- I don't think you know them. Definitely don't know him."   
"I know a lot of people, Envy, you'd be surprised. But I gotta get going, I'm sure Al's worried about me by now."   
Ed leaned over, kissed Envy's cheek as a goodbye, and ran away waving.   
As he left, Envy coughed up an entire flower this time.


	4. CHAPTER 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and its at this moment that i tell everyone im kin with envy  
> writing a recap of the fight between mustang was fun as i just finished that part for the fourth time  
> i hope this is alright for you all ! i thought it might be nice to know what went on during the fight, though its ... mostly the same. i even used actual dialogue from the dub ^^;;

_The hallways and floors were made of tan colored stone that felt cold on their feet. It wasn’t too far off from their normal hideout, so they knew their way around the place, but being so small wasn’t really helping them navigate it. At least the place was lit. They could hear shouting behind them from the Colonel and Fullmetal, the Colonel trying to order Ed to go and find them again. So angry that the kid had mercy on them._

_Moments before, they were running, every inch of their body still stinging from the constant exposure to flames. Even the regeneration process hurt, and when several layers of your skin were getting constantly burned off the pain made it hard to move. They continued, of course, as they had been through worse. They couldn’t let Mustang get the best of them, after what he did to Lust. He’d pay for what he did to their sister, Envy was sure of it, whether it be now or some time later. They’d just have to survive to find out._

_Their eyes and face stung the most, and they found a wall to lean on while their body still crackled with red lightning. The regeneration pain was much less than the pain of actually getting hurt, but healing your body was still a task, and tasks like that required some semblance of pain. As they heard his footsteps coming down the hall, his voice loud and clear asking them to show themself, they came up with a split second plan._ “What would he be less likely to attack? His best friend? Let’s go with that, we don’t have the time to think of anything better.” _They thought, changing into the man they killed so many months before._

_They thought they had him! They thought this was their chance!_

_How much more wrong could they have been. Without hesitation, their body was once again wrapped in flames and they fell to the ground, writhing in pain. “How could you!” They yelled at the alchemist. How could he have attacked his best friend! They should have never doubted his resolve and his acceptance that his friend was now dead and nothing could change that._

_They ran at him to attack, to show the man true punishment, but once more they were met with fire in their eyes. Truly, they did not get to know peace in these moments._

_Envy had tried to trick the lieutenant. That backfired too._

_The only moment of peace they knew was when Ed showed up and grabbed them in his hand and refused to let the colonel have them. The colonel was blind with hatred, ready to kill them in a moments notice if he had not been stopped._

“That is an order. Give it to me right now.” _The colonel said to Ed. But Ed refused. The humans weren’t hurting each other either, but there they were, the only thing keeping them alive the snug grasp the younger alchemist had on them._

_They didn’t understand it. How could they not take this opportunity to kill each other? With all the stuff going on between them, there was more than enough for them to try. War criminals and murderers they were. Why was their such compassion between them, even now?_

_Ed looked at them with sad eyes._

“Now I see. You’re jealous. You’re jealous of humans, aren’t you?” _Said Ed._

_And he hit it right on the spot. They would never have admitted it. But humans? The compassion that they knew for each other? Envy had never experienced such a thing. Even the bond they had with Lust and Gluttony wasn’t the same as the bonds between humans. Them and their siblings were nothing close to a ‘real’ family. It’s not like Father really cared much about them either._

_Truly, they were jealous of humans compassion for one another._

_Truly, they just wanted a family that cared._

_They’d never get it, of course._

_So they turned their want into jealousy, and took it out on the humans they so envied._

_They could feel tears start to form in their large eyes._

_They tried to wiggle free from Ed’s grip. He tried to stop them with his other hand but they bit his finger, hard enough to probably leave a small scar._

_More shit from Mustang on not letting them go._

_More from Ed on letting them do what they want, that they had enough punishment._

_They fell to the floor, turning around and scurrying away into a nearby corridor that would lead them down to where Father was. They stopped halfway down the hall, the tan colored stone feeling cold on their feet. They could hear shouting behind them from the Colonel and Fullmetal, the Colonel trying to order Ed to go and find them again. So angry that the kid had mercy on them._

_E_ _nvy closed their eyes for a moment of peace after the fight_ _._

.

.

.

Envy’s eyes shot open. The ceiling was made of familiar grey stone, the dripping and creaking of pipes bringing them back to reality. They coughed, a small red flower coming out onto their hand.

_It was just a dream_ , they thought, _just a dream. It wasn’t happening again_.

It was much more dimly lit down here. It was also much more lonely and quiet. They had spent months down here, waiting for someone to show up and take their body. But no one ever came down here. It took so long to collect enough people to make a stone…..

After a few moments, they realized that there were tears falling onto their cheeks. They quickly wiped them away, but they kept falling anyways, until they were full on sobbing, a mixture of tears and blood and flower petals on the floor of their room. By now, Envy’s hair was sticking to their cheeks from the moisture, their eyes red from crying, blood on their lips from coughing. It was the first time they had broken down like this since the Promised Day.

Admittedly, they had done it before. They may have been Father’s envy but it sometimes seemed as they were more than just that and they never really knew how to take it. Sometimes, Lust would have been there. The comforting words of their older sister would help them most times. But they didn’t have that now. Everyone was gone, and it was slowly sinking in after all these months that they really were the only one left.

Being the last one was lonely.

If only they had someone to keep them company.


End file.
